A huge chunk of my childhood memories belong with my Grammy, Dorothy Balsley. She is more to me than just my default-babysitter while growing up and mother of The Momma. As I have said before on here, she is one of the two most important ladies in my life.
Personal Seamstress: Grammy has sewn for over 70 years. The majority of my Halloween costumes and many of the dresses that I wore while growing up were Dorothy Balsley originals. I remember in preschool that I wanted to be a clown and she showed me two fabrics I could choose from for my costume. I wanted both! So instead of making me choose, she did half the costume in balloons and half in little clowns. Anything I could imagine, she could realize it. For the Sandy Mt. Festival parade one year, she made me an eggplant costume that I wore in The Sandy Grange float.
My all-time, most treasured creation of hers is my prom dress. I wanted a flapper dress that was covered entirely with fringe. Together, we found a dress pattern, picked a shiny gold fabric, and bought yards and yards of cream-colored fringe. The dress that she made was exactly what I had pictured in my head. Nothing but rows of cream fringe that must have taken her hours to sew on. Whenever I moved, the fringe would move and you could see the gold dress underneath. Her creations are just as finely made and/or better than anything you can buy in stores. Without her, every single pair of pants I own would still be too long.
My all-time, most treasured creation of hers is my prom dress. I wanted a flapper dress that was covered entirely with fringe. Together, we found a dress pattern, picked a shiny gold fabric, and bought yards and yards of cream-colored fringe. The dress that she made was exactly what I had pictured in my head. Nothing but rows of cream fringe that must have taken her hours to sew on. Whenever I moved, the fringe would move and you could see the gold dress underneath. Her creations are just as finely made and/or better than anything you can buy in stores. Without her, every single pair of pants I own would still be too long.
Educator/Tutor: Grammy and I would spend hours playing card and dice games at her kitchen table. We would we would read books and sing songs together, including the alphabet song while at the same time spelling out the alphabet in sign language. Little did I realize that while I was playing and having fun, I was getting my first introductions to numbers/math and letters/reading and writing. She would continue to help me however she could through school and was always so proud of my academic achievements. She even paid for my text books all through college.
Volunteer: When I was in second grade, Grammy started to volunteer in my classroom. She and my teacher Mrs. Hyland got along so well and Grammy liked her classroom so much that she continued to volunteer in Mrs. Hyland's classroom for 11 more years. Every Friday she would give spelling tests, correct writing exercises and help kids with their math. Many generations of Sandy Grade School kids will remember Grammy as their friend Mrs. B.
She is also a member of The Sandy Grange and has been since forever. I remember, when I was young, going with her to the Grange hall on Friday evenings to get things set up for Bingo. Whatever needed to be done, Grammy would do everything she could to help out. Now that she can't stand up for long periods of time anymore, she is always ready to do anything that needs to be done while sitting down.
She is also a member of The Sandy Grange and has been since forever. I remember, when I was young, going with her to the Grange hall on Friday evenings to get things set up for Bingo. Whatever needed to be done, Grammy would do everything she could to help out. Now that she can't stand up for long periods of time anymore, she is always ready to do anything that needs to be done while sitting down.
Master of Patience: I have no idea how anyone can be as patient as Grammy. She taught me math and how to drive. Enough said.
Friend and Confidant: I can tell Grammy anything. I can't count how many times I have poured my heart out to her and she has been there for me. She never judges me and respects all of the choices/decisions I've made in my life. I've always said that if I needed to bury a body, she might not be able to help me dig the hole, but she will supply the shovels and the hot cocoa for when the job is done.
My Rock: Whenever life has gotten me down, Grammy has been there to help me back up. Whenever I have needed anything, she has given without hesitation. Whenever I have needed to cry, she has held me. And whenever I've accomplished something, she has been the first one to brag to everyone she sees about what her "little one" has done.
*****
Early Friday morning on June 1, Grammy fell and called 911 through her medical alert bracelet. We are not sure on the details, but when the paramedics got there she was having trouble breathing and they took her to the hospital. Between 3am and 4:30am in the ER, Grammy had a major heart attack.
I got a call at 6am from Grammy's neighbor Jay. He said that she fell and was in critical condition, but they wouldn't tell him anything else because he was not family. I rushed over to Portland Adventist Hospital and The Momma was there shortly after me. We waited for what seemed like a year for someone to tell us what was going on.
We finally spoke with the cardiologist around 7:30am and he told us he was so sorry he couldn't reach us sooner but nobody knew how to get a hold of Grammy's family. He told us that while he was working on her he had to shock her heart 20 times within the span of 30 minutes... more than he ever has for anyone on his table. He kept her working though because no one could locate me or The Momma and because the paramedics said when they were loading her into the ambulance, she told them "do everything you can," presumably meaning do whatever they could to keep her alive. Things don't look good: she has an unknown amount of major heart damage and her kidneys, which have been slowly failing for the past 5 years, are not doing well. The doctors gave her a 10% chance of survival over the next 24 hours.
We finally spoke with the cardiologist around 7:30am and he told us he was so sorry he couldn't reach us sooner but nobody knew how to get a hold of Grammy's family. He told us that while he was working on her he had to shock her heart 20 times within the span of 30 minutes... more than he ever has for anyone on his table. He kept her working though because no one could locate me or The Momma and because the paramedics said when they were loading her into the ambulance, she told them "do everything you can," presumably meaning do whatever they could to keep her alive. Things don't look good: she has an unknown amount of major heart damage and her kidneys, which have been slowly failing for the past 5 years, are not doing well. The doctors gave her a 10% chance of survival over the next 24 hours.
That was 40 hours ago.
At one point she was on the maximum number drugs/infusions to maintain her blood pressure and vitals at their maximum doses. That was yesterday afternoon. As her heart has become stronger, they have been slowly lowering the doses and even took her off one of the drugs completely today. She has been hooked up to a machine that is helping her heart beat (I think something to do with a balloon...angioplasty?), but they are looking to slowly ween her off of that machine now too. The doctors are amazed at how well she has been doing, considering they weren't expecting her to get through the day.
She is still intubated to help her breath. She has got to be in a huge amount of pain, so she is being given pain and sedation medications to make her more comfortable. She has opened her eyes a couple times, but I don't know if she is aware of what is going on. I pray she is not aware of any pain and that she is not scared. Last night before we left I sang her favorite song to her, "Que Sera Sera." Because I was crying, it probably qualified for the worst rendition of any song ever sung.
The Momma and I spent 15 hours at the hospital yesterday and quite a few hours today. When we are not there, we switch off calling the hospital every 3-4 hours for updates. She is looking better every time we see her.
The Momma and I spent 15 hours at the hospital yesterday and quite a few hours today. When we are not there, we switch off calling the hospital every 3-4 hours for updates. She is looking better every time we see her.
I am sorry that this is the way most people in my life are finding out about Grammy. I really don't know if I can talk about this without crying. This is a way for me to let a lot of people know what is going on all at once and also a way for me to process what has been happening.
I'm feel lost.
My biggest wish right now is for Grammy to be comfortable and know how much I love her. The Momma and I are holding each other together and we are taking it hour by hour right now. What else can we do?
I know that anyone who has ever known my Grammy will be keeping her in their prayers/thoughts/good vibes, and for that I thank you.
I'm feel lost.
My biggest wish right now is for Grammy to be comfortable and know how much I love her. The Momma and I are holding each other together and we are taking it hour by hour right now. What else can we do?
I know that anyone who has ever known my Grammy will be keeping her in their prayers/thoughts/good vibes, and for that I thank you.
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| Grammy and I, Christmas Day 2010 |
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