A big, scary decision

It has been two and a half weeks since my return to The Homeland aka Sandy, Oregon and I am starting to feel like a townie again.

NOOOOOOO!

I love Oregon with all of my tree-loving and Mt. Hood-enjoying heart, but I can't settle here for long. I've been somewhat on the move for the last two years and I'm not ready for small-town life again. Portland is always calling, but what else is out there in this big country? I haven't seen half of it yet!

In my heart, I know that I will grow old in Oregon, but I need to see what else is out there first.

In AmeriCorps, a big topic of conversation is Life After AmeriCorps. Questions such as if someone is going back to school, getting a job or is a person is crazy enough to do AmeriCorps for another year fly around pretty much all year.

I have my undergrad degree and not knowing what I want to do when I grow up puts further schooling and a big-person job out of my consideration right now.

So, Jenna, what exactly is it that you are going to do?

I dunno! Leave me alone!

Oh wait, I ask myself the same question every day and I'm tired of telling myself to shut the hell up.

So, friends, I have started seriously thinking of what comes next. I'm going to...

a. Become a clown for the circus!

b. Drive a big rig!

c. Join a convent!

d. Be an astronaut!

e. None of the above!

Yeah, the answer is e.

Actually, I am scared to say it out loud because when I do, I will actually have to follow through. But I'm going to put on my big-girl pants and commit.

In October I will be traveling to Boston. I have a good friend from my Corps Member year going to Boston University and I will crash on her couch for a bit. After I get there, I will get a job at either a big-kid employer or a crap job such as Starbucks, find a place to live and try to survive in Beantown. This is the first truly independent step in my life where I take care of myself. I am just packing up and going there. I am scared and incredibly excited at the same time. What will it be like? My family and wonderful Oregon friends will be thousands of miles away. The only people I'll know are AmeriCorps friends and we all know that they, like myself, are all dirt-poor and trying to figure out their own lives. I'm leaving everything I've known for a new city where I don't have a job or a place to live and where I'll have to pay sales tax and become a Red Sox fan.

I have no idea what the future holds, but I know that if I stay in Oregon right now I will regret it. I do have the security of knowing that I will ALWAYS have a place to come back to with The Momma. She hasn't told me how she really feels about my foggy plans except that she will support and love me in whatever I do. I couldn't ask for anything more than that.

I could use some encouragement for this move, so please write or call me. I hope this is the right move for me. I'm not sure of this decision or myself right now. I've got a little over a month left...