why i won't live in a land-locked state

Lincoln City 4.21.2012

My earliest vacation memories are of going to the coast with The Momma. She would pack up our overnight bags, load the car with my toys (for the trip over there and for the beach) and we would hit the road, usually after school on a Friday. When we got close to the coast, The Momma would always try to convince me that the ocean would be on the left. We always drove from north to south. The Momma was a liar.

We would usually go to Lincoln City and stay at the D Sands Motel right on the beach. We'd get a pizza and some evening snacks and something for breakfast the next morning (donuts!) then stay in the motel room for the night. We'd play card games, watch TV watch the sun set over the Pacific and then fall asleep with the windows open so we could hear the ocean all night. The best was went it was stormy and the waves would almost touch the motel. That was awesome.

The next day would start with a drive south along the coast. We'd go Depoe Bay and sometimes go to the aquarium there (these were the days before the Oregon Coast Aquarium), but usually we'd just go into the little shops that sold the same crappy beach souvenirs that I think are still sitting in some of the stores to this day.

Sometimes we'd go further south to Newport. I would beg to go to the wax museum there, but The Momma would say no because I always got scared toward the end of the museum. I don't remember exactly what it was that scared me, I just remember always being frightened and leaving there crying. But every time I would beg and beg to go until The Momma finally relented and we went into the wax museum where I would again be frightened and cry. It was a vicious cycle. We would then drive through Newport and past the one place I have ever seen my last name displayed in public, Kangiser Office Supply. The Momma told me some distant cousin of mine owned it, but didn't know who and we never went in. I loved seeing that storefront.

After lunch, which would usually be at Mo's, we'd drive back to Lincoln City. The afternoon would either be me playing on the beach while The Momma sat on some driftwood and read or, in the later years, going to the Lincoln City Outlets. We would spend hours there, and that was before it was as big as it is now. The Momma and I have always bonded over shopping, unless we were buying school clothes for me, which would usually end up with  The Momma in a rage because of my indecisiveness and not liking a single thing she picked out for me, or she dragged me into the Pfaltzgraff store or some other kitchen store that was mind-numbingly boring for kids. Other than that, we'd have a grand ol' time! After that we'd go out for dinner at a nice-ish seafood place then back to the motel.

Our last day was for buying salt water taffy, playing on the beach one more time, and driving up to Tillamook for some ice cream. After that it was time to make the trip back home. I was usually asleep for this part.

These weren't big, fancy trips by any means. Unless you are from the northwest, you probably don't think of the beach and picture yourself in a hoodie and long pants fighting against the wind and sand blowing up in your face just to walk. It wasn't until I was in Florida when I was 24 that I went to a beach where you wore a swimsuit and the large body of water was actually warm.

But these weekend getaways were always adventures to me. They did more to bring The Momma and I closer together. It was our special time to sing in the car, talk about anything and laugh together. There wasn't a whole lot of time for us to do that back home, so the coast was our special place where we could get a way from daily pressures for a little while..

As I sit on the sand in from of the D Sands Motel (now The D Sands Condominium Motel), it's weird to see how much Lincoln City has grown. It's huge now compared to 20+ years ago with a big movie theater, casino and an even larger outlet mall. It's strange to me to see it through adult eyes when in my mind it will always be as it was when I was 5 or 6. I decided to make the drive down here on a whim at noon today by myself. I stopped at the casino on the way over (damn blackjack tables) and will be grabbing a triple-shot coffee on my way home.

A few things are unchanged though. The ocean is still here (and it was on the right side as I was coming into town thankyouverymuch) and I am about to watch the sun set over the water. I will never get tired of seeing that. So much has changed in my life and will continue to do so, but this feeling that I have at this moment will never change. Even though I have now resigned myself to being a grownup living in Portland, paying grownup bills with my grownup job, when I hear the waves crashing, feel the cold sand under me and look out toward the horizon, I feel peace. I remember my weekend adventures here with The Momma and how much happiness it brought us both. My memories and this peacefulness are things that will be with me until the day when the coast isn't just a few hours away.

jenna k 4.21.12